So today was kind of a mixed up day. I didn't wake up on time an didn't feel like it, so motivation was lacking. I ate lunch and then all of the sudden I felt some inspiration. I knew that if I didn't get at least one small workout set in that I would feel guilty and it would keep me up at night. So today I did the set backwards from yesterday! It took more effort because I still felt sleepy. However, it was a victory! So I hope I can get better and better each day as I go on this journey.
So now it's time for the other things! So i just read Warrior's post about me and I am awestruck at how much of a jerk I have been! I have been the biggest jerk in the world to someone who I would do anything for. Warrior I understand that you don't forgive me because I don't deserve a scrap of forgiveness. I have always been an influential person and I let someone get to me. People around the college have told me repeatedly that I should not be friends with her, but as usual I didn't listen. I want you to know that I looked back at things and I realize my mistakes and for that I am truly sorry. I don't know what has gotten into me. I know we may never be back to being the best of friends and I know it hurt when I told you I replaced you, but that wasn't really me. I left my Facebook open while doing the laundry and she messaged you; the first message was you. Flurp did encourage me to talk to you after I talked to him crying because I missed you. I wanted to talk to you before, but did not have the courage! I should have known she would do something like that. I'm working on getting her out of my life, but it's a work in progress. This break apart is gonna show her that she is not everything to me. It has already shown me that there are areas of my life that I need to work on and improve upon. I should have stood up for you, but I just didn't. I don't have a good excuse or even an excuse for not standing up for you. I still do care for you and wish you the very best. I guess I was tired of the same ol' same and wanted a change. I should have came to you and told you that. Lately I have been having dreams where we talk everything out and we become acquaintances and then slowly friends again. I did turn right into something I promised myself I would never be. I let myself turn into what I was growing up in the ghetto. I was letting a stranger run my life. Well no more. I know it will take time for us to ever talk again. I know I overreacted when I took you and your family off my Facebook. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm not asking for anything, I just hope one day we can talk again. I used to tell you everything. I have a secret that I haven't told anyone. Only people from the college know. I went with my roommate to Jazzy's bf's place and I didn't just get contact high. I actually took a hit. I HATE the taste of it and I will NEVER do it again. I know this post is taking forever to read, sorry about that. The feeling was ok for awhile, but then I felt horrible afterwards. I have this friend at college named Caleb, I call him Sugarplum! He is helping me realize I don't need Haley. I am going back to my previous convictions. So that is what I wanted you to know! Also that I have read your Trevor story and I LOVE it! Keep that shine that I have strayed away from.
Ok so everyone wish me luck in my weight loss journey! Also let's hope that Warrior will see it in her heart to at least read this! I pray one day we can let go of the past and try to move forward.
Oh Warrior I haven't asked in a while how are Maya and Chewy!?
Peace Love Luck and God Bless
~Ciao~
P.S. You wanna know where I got that Ciao thing from? Warrior! On our first blogs she signed her blogs that way and I love it~
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