Random Thoughts

Unconditionally by Katy Perry  LOVE the song, the video is cool; has no point though, just being honest!
Neon Lights by Demi Lovato LOOOOOVE THE SONG AND ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOVE THE VIDEO!!!! As alwats Demi is the best! Again just saying what I feel!
Timber by Pitbull feat. ke$Ha LOOOVe the song and LOOOOOVE the video!! Very cool!
The Fox by Ylvis  OFCOURSE I LOVE both the song and the video! Yes I know it's oldish, now but I love it!
Ok so I'm not going to rehash anything but me and Warrior have parted ways, our differences were just that. That is all I am going to say because I do not want to offend anyone.

So today I am leaving to go home for winter break here TAMUT! I'm so excited! I don't have to return until January 12, 2014!  Can you believe it's already gonna be 2014?! I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner, let alone 2014!
So lately everyone has been worrying about 2014 and how great they want it to be! I say just let go and let God. Stop worrying about the future for God is already there and the future will take care of itself! That's all I'm saying!

Anyways, me and my roommate have really become closer friends and I feel like she is another sister! She has been the best friend a girl could have and I'm lucky to have such a friend!


So have any of you loyals had any doubts about your life and where it's going lately? I know I just preached about not worrying about the future, but I just feel stuck!!!  I don't know, I guess I'll figure it out.



A quick review of the video game Just Dance 2014: It is mildly awesome! I say mildly because most of the dances are not difficult at all and usually the Just Dance video games get harder every new release! Just my honest opinion there!




Anyways I have to depart, I must go finish getting ready for leaving! Everyone have a great day and a wonderful Winter Break! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! \




~Ciao~

Made in the U.S.A.

That is by the amazing Demi Lovato, of course.


So I did not post my story, sorry. I'm not going to do one, it's pointless. Only one person reads this and no one else is interested in what I have to say. So no story!



Have a great night!



~Ciao~

God's Great Dance Floor

Ok so this song is by Chris Tomlin! I just finished listening to it and I absolutely LOOOOVE it!!!!

Anyways I know I haven't written to ya'll in forever, sorry!!!!
Ok so I need to vent major time!!!


So my roommate and I aren't the best of friends, but we are cool! Until now.....
Last week a big major blowup and $60 of mine ended up missing. She says she did not take it, but I know like mess that she did! I can tell when someone is lying! She def was. After a weekend at my dad's I forgot about it, and moved on. I talked to her about it and came to an agreement that she would pay me back so she would not go to jail, and I was like ok cool! Now she has always been very moody, but I put up with it because I am just the type of person to let it roll off my back. NOT ANYMORE! She uses  my deodorant, perfume, money, laptop, and eats my food I buy and my mom buys WITHOUT asking! EVERY DANG DAY!!!!!!!!!!! Now at first it's ok, but she cusses me out too, and I that is where I draw the line! Ok so I was watching Hocus Pocus on t.v. and she didn't want me to and was like, "Do we have to watch this?" She loathes watching t.v. and hates it when I do. I turned it off and was like, "It's not that big a deal, it's just a movie." I was a little ticked because I'm sick of her telling me what to do! So then she says no what is a big deal is that you always control what happens in this room. (I took out a few words she said, because I don't want that language on here.) And then was like if it's not a big deal I'll get a new bleeping roommate because if your are gonna be bossy and bleep then I don't need that kind of person in my life. I was like fine be my guest!
Then I left the room, slamming the door hard enough to wake any sleeping dead person! I talked to Warrior and her mom and that calmed me down. That is beside the point, I should not have to deal with this! That was the LAST straw! I am DONE! So sick and tired of having to deal with this mess! I refuse to anymore! So I'll be moving out as soon as I can, and I won't have to be her friend any longer!  I'm not going to deal with it for another second, just gonna keep my headphones in and block her out as much as possible.
So there it's all out! I did hold back a LOT of anger, but that's all good!
Tomorrow I will be posting a story I am going to start! It will stretch over many posts. They are actually dreams I have had recently. I got the inspiration from my bestie over at www.Sorry4PartyRocking2012.blogspot.com   !!! Go check it out! It's awesome, like a freakin mind-grenade!


Until then I bid you goodbye and goodnight!



~Ciao~

Broken

What can I say? I was literally falling apart. My world was crashing in, it was hopeless for me! I went down a spiral and could not climb back up! Now let's flash forward five years and here I am at Texas A&M University Texarkana! Yay!! College, living in the dorm, meeting new people, blah blah blah! You know the drill! Well no I'm still broken. I have had two nights where I have felt hopeless, and utterly alone. People try to talk to me and some help calm me down, but I still feel like hell! I need a nightingale! I need someone or something to help these thoughts to go away forever! I hate thinking I should not live, that I don't deserve too! I hate wanting to hurt myself and digging my nails in my arm and my key doesn't even hurt, or make me feel anything. I wanted to feel numb, I just don't want to feel anymore. I know that I will though, over and over again. I can't stop it! So I'll keep trying, I'll wake up everyday the good Lord decides for me too and work through it! That's the only way I know. I have been skipping class a lot lately, which is good and bad, good for my mental helth, but bad for my grades. Oh well I'll get back on top soon! Wish me luck!

 

"Nightingale"

I can't sleep tonight
Wide awake and so confused
Everything's in line
But I am bruised
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I kinda need a hero
Is it you?

I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me

Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

Somebody speak to me
Cause I'm feeling like hell
Need you to answer me
I'm overwhelmed
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I need a star to follow
I don't know

I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me

Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

I don't know what I'd do without you
Your words are like a whisper come through
As long as you are with me here tonight
I'm good

Can you be my nightingale?
Still so close
I know you're there
Oh, nightingale
You sing to me
I know you're there
'Cause baby you're my sanity
You bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

Oh
Mm, mm
Mm




Ok until next time! Have a blessed day and see ya on the flippity flop!




~Ciao~ 

White Flag

That song is by Chris Tomlin, and you may be wondering what in the world I am posting about at this time of the morning. Well for one I can't sleep, and two I have far too much on my mind. Let me catch you up to speed though. So you know about the whole break up with Chase but um..... yea I'm back with Johnathan and I think this is our last try. If it doesn't work I think I really will be single for at least 2 or 3 years. I have been pretty good so far about everything and I haven't had a really bad day yet. I have been angry lately, but not sad. That is until now, or should I say awhile ago.
My roommate had a boy in here and I just couldn't stand to sit in here and cry in front of them. It felt like my world was crashing down. For the past 3 or 4 days I have had those suicidal thoughts again and the depression creeps in a lot lately, and I haven't found a way to stop it yet. Until now. Ok, so I was sitting in one of the lounge areas crying my eyes out and an RA walked by. His name us Luke, that is his real name. He talked to me and helped realize that I'm not alone anymore. That I don't have to hide it and brush it off anymore. He talked to me and said that it is probably a chemical process in my brain that is causing this. It's not just "in my head" as some would say. I can't just run from it either. And, that there are vitamins I can take that can help, all natural, all beneficial. Talking to him about a lot helped me get through a lot of it. I still feel like crying though. That's because when I cry I have to all out until I can be done.
I am blogging to you now knowing that maybe only one person at the very most will see this. I know that. But I don't care.
I saw a video on Facebook earlier about life. Granted, it was only one perspective of one individual. This individual is very intelligent. He knows what he is talking about. His name is Chaz Warren and the video is shared on my wall if you want to take a looksee! It helped to get past what I'm feeling right now.
So I have good news: as soon as I get my refund I am getting the tats!!! I am so excited to finally have Stay Strong <3 on me wrists, you don't understand!!!
Anyways I also saved this for last, they always said to save the best for last. My best friend, Warrior and I got in a fight a while back. It shook me up. I'm here to say that she was right I did use people, but I am only human and we all do that from time to time. I apologize for using everyone I have. Especially Warrior and her family. They have been a blessing to me that is indescribable! I am waving a white flag of truce Warrior! I know you hate me and probably won't speak to me again, I'm just saying sorry and thanks for everything! You truly were the best friend I had, and I said were and had because I don't know if we are friends anymore! If we are, sorry I unfriended you I was angry, and if we aren't, then thanks for the memories, I love you un-biological sister!




Anyways I have to get sleep so I don't miss class tomorrow. So goodnight/morning to everyone and have blessed day!



Ciao



P.S. If you don't know I am being called Maggs now, so refer to me as that please.

Hey everybody!

It's been quite a while since I have posted to ya'll! So how's everyone?! I have had a whirlwind of a week! Ok so I broke up with Chase! Everyone is happy for me about that! What had happened I tried to break up with him nicely but he started being a meanie and I had to be a meanie back to him.
Ok so I moved into the dorm at Texas A&M University Texarkana! Everyone said this would be the best week ever and they were correct! I have had so much fun in my new classes and I even got out of my remedial classes! The first day I got here I made new friends and went to this thing called Play Fair! It was a lot of ice-breakers and just loads of fun I have met a LOT of people now! Then we went to the Convocation and there's been 2 comedians and a hypnotist! I went to a headphone disco! It was fun! The past week was the best week ever I mean I just loved it! Now it's the four day weekend and the last day and I'm just here procrastinating, not wanting to write this essay about a poem, but I'll get it done!





Ok so big news! Saturday night at 9:45 I went to see the movie: One Direction This Is Us 3D and it was FREAKING AWESOME!!! I cried, laughed, hooped, hollered, and nearly peed myself! It made me so emotional! I have a new respect for them! I am re-obsessed with them! When we got home I played BSE on repeat till' like 6 in the morning!
Ok so I will post more later because my mom and Warrior will be here soon so ttyl and have a blessed day! 








~Ciao~

Hey Everyone!

Ok it has been forever and a day since I posted! The last ya'll heard I was with Johnathan and well we broke up twice. He was confused about another girl and he needed space. I gave him that so everything there is fine.
I now have a new boyfriend, and I know what you are all thinking: "Another one? She just got out of one and then she jumps into another." Well this time is different I think. This guy's name is Chase and he is very sweet and cute and I really like him. He's 19 so only a year older than me and we both are going to the same college so we will see each other often. He's different, but a very good/nice different.

Ok so I had my birthday back in the beginning of July, and for those who don't know I am 18 now! Yay, whoopee! It wasn't that special except for the surprise from my bestie. I didn't want to get older.

I have moved out of Warrior's and into my grandmother's apartment. I miss living there and I have adopted the ways of living in the Warrior household. I mean I got into a routine there and it is still sticking with me. 


I am here in Austin at my Uncle Chad's and Aunt Laney's havin a blast with my sister, Gaga (that's my grandma), my great aunt Ruby, and my cousin Alyssa. Ya'll remember her! She is fun and has changed so much. After this weekend I am going to stay for a week at my dad's in Irving. It's his staycation so he invited us to come stay.


Now this is the big news. Last weekend Warrior, my bro, sis, mom and I went to Magic Springs in Hot Springs, Arkansas. We had fun on the lazy river a LOT, and the wave pool, and walked around a lot too. The big thing after that we attended a concert of none other than the amazing band THEORY OF A DEADMAN!!! IT WAS THE MOST AWESOME NIGHT OF MY LIFE HANDS DOWN! WARRIOR AND I FRIKIN LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. WE SCREAMED AND SHOUTED AND JUMPED AROUND UNTIL OUR LUNGS GAVE OUT. TYLER IS THE SINGLE MOST AWESOME GUY WE NOW HAVE THE PLEASURE OF SEEING IN PERSON. WHEN HE PUT THE MICROPHONE INTO THE CROWD AND WARRIOR AND I WERE THE ONLY ONES IN THE CROWD THAT SANG BACK TO HIM! IT WAS SO MUCH FUUUUUUUNNNNN!!! OH AND TYLER LOOKED SO HOT!!!! IT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF OUR LIVES IN MY OPINION!  They were opened by this band from Hope, Texas called 9 Miles Ahead! I am now a fan and love that band! The hotel we stayed in afterwords was crappy, but it didn't take away from the awesomeness of the night!


Well that is an update on my life, so until next time stay strong and have a blessed day!

p.s. I am now attending Texas A&M University Texarkana now and it is not the college where my bestie is going but it will have to do.

Ciao