White Flag

That song is by Chris Tomlin, and you may be wondering what in the world I am posting about at this time of the morning. Well for one I can't sleep, and two I have far too much on my mind. Let me catch you up to speed though. So you know about the whole break up with Chase but um..... yea I'm back with Johnathan and I think this is our last try. If it doesn't work I think I really will be single for at least 2 or 3 years. I have been pretty good so far about everything and I haven't had a really bad day yet. I have been angry lately, but not sad. That is until now, or should I say awhile ago.
My roommate had a boy in here and I just couldn't stand to sit in here and cry in front of them. It felt like my world was crashing down. For the past 3 or 4 days I have had those suicidal thoughts again and the depression creeps in a lot lately, and I haven't found a way to stop it yet. Until now. Ok, so I was sitting in one of the lounge areas crying my eyes out and an RA walked by. His name us Luke, that is his real name. He talked to me and helped realize that I'm not alone anymore. That I don't have to hide it and brush it off anymore. He talked to me and said that it is probably a chemical process in my brain that is causing this. It's not just "in my head" as some would say. I can't just run from it either. And, that there are vitamins I can take that can help, all natural, all beneficial. Talking to him about a lot helped me get through a lot of it. I still feel like crying though. That's because when I cry I have to all out until I can be done.
I am blogging to you now knowing that maybe only one person at the very most will see this. I know that. But I don't care.
I saw a video on Facebook earlier about life. Granted, it was only one perspective of one individual. This individual is very intelligent. He knows what he is talking about. His name is Chaz Warren and the video is shared on my wall if you want to take a looksee! It helped to get past what I'm feeling right now.
So I have good news: as soon as I get my refund I am getting the tats!!! I am so excited to finally have Stay Strong <3 on me wrists, you don't understand!!!
Anyways I also saved this for last, they always said to save the best for last. My best friend, Warrior and I got in a fight a while back. It shook me up. I'm here to say that she was right I did use people, but I am only human and we all do that from time to time. I apologize for using everyone I have. Especially Warrior and her family. They have been a blessing to me that is indescribable! I am waving a white flag of truce Warrior! I know you hate me and probably won't speak to me again, I'm just saying sorry and thanks for everything! You truly were the best friend I had, and I said were and had because I don't know if we are friends anymore! If we are, sorry I unfriended you I was angry, and if we aren't, then thanks for the memories, I love you un-biological sister!




Anyways I have to get sleep so I don't miss class tomorrow. So goodnight/morning to everyone and have blessed day!



Ciao



P.S. If you don't know I am being called Maggs now, so refer to me as that please.

Hey everybody!

It's been quite a while since I have posted to ya'll! So how's everyone?! I have had a whirlwind of a week! Ok so I broke up with Chase! Everyone is happy for me about that! What had happened I tried to break up with him nicely but he started being a meanie and I had to be a meanie back to him.
Ok so I moved into the dorm at Texas A&M University Texarkana! Everyone said this would be the best week ever and they were correct! I have had so much fun in my new classes and I even got out of my remedial classes! The first day I got here I made new friends and went to this thing called Play Fair! It was a lot of ice-breakers and just loads of fun I have met a LOT of people now! Then we went to the Convocation and there's been 2 comedians and a hypnotist! I went to a headphone disco! It was fun! The past week was the best week ever I mean I just loved it! Now it's the four day weekend and the last day and I'm just here procrastinating, not wanting to write this essay about a poem, but I'll get it done!





Ok so big news! Saturday night at 9:45 I went to see the movie: One Direction This Is Us 3D and it was FREAKING AWESOME!!! I cried, laughed, hooped, hollered, and nearly peed myself! It made me so emotional! I have a new respect for them! I am re-obsessed with them! When we got home I played BSE on repeat till' like 6 in the morning!
Ok so I will post more later because my mom and Warrior will be here soon so ttyl and have a blessed day! 








~Ciao~