Ok so after thinking about it last night and getting perspective from others I realize and deep down I knew this. It's not real love with my boyfriend. It can't be within two days. I guess it's my mind fooling me because I think I just love the way he treats me and that is making me think I love him. I don't. He may be a time filler or this may last for awhile I don't know, but what I do know is that I am going to just live for now. That's all I can do. I had a split second thought that his best friend had put him up to liking me and I asked him but he said no. I am guarding my heart though, I am not going to fully invest in this too much with a blind eye.
Ok so I think I made Warrior mad. I am so sorry if I did Warrior. I didn't mean to shut you out. I thought you wouldn't want to hear about the whole relationship thing with this guy and I. SORRY!!!!
Ok so that's my point of view.
Ciao
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
My Baby
He looks around, but doesn't see me yet. I yell his name and he walks over. Wraps me in a tight hug; sweaty, but perfect.
He looks at me and smiles, blushing then grabs the side of my face an kisses me for the first time! Sparks fly as we continue to kiss! I can already tell that I am going to love this!
We watch a movie as he tickles me and wrestles with me letting me win, and a thumb war or two and an almost staring contest! All the while telling me I am an angel and the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on. As he wraps his arms around my waist I gently lay my head on his chest and sit there in the moment, unitl... he surprise attacks me with kisses. "Baby, I love you." he whispers in my ear!
As we walk down this road we kiss more! I wrap my arms around his neck and him around my waist and he kisses me softly and sweetly. We entwine our hands and swing them between us! I can see a future with this boy. I run away yelling, "Catch me if you can!" He says, "I bet I can!" When he finally catches me he kisses me again and he says, "You forgot I used to play football so I can catch you anytime." Then we play chicken and it ties to him being a little to strong and me giving in to a hug. We walk back hand in hand completely in love. I can't believe this actually happened to someone like me! I finally found a guy who treats me like a princess.
When he leaves I am sad , but when we decide on our date I offer to pay for something he grabs ahold of me and looks me deep into my eyes and says: "You will NEVER have to pay or worry about that, I will take care of everything." Then we walk farther and have to kiss goodbye, I will see him soon, but it feels like a lifetime from now.
He worries he is not good enough for me, and I worry I am not enough for him.
I love this guy! He makes me feel loved. For the first time in my life the walls I built up are tumbling down and I could not be happier!
Anyways that was a quick post to rehash my day. Hope you enjoy! Have a great day!
Ciao
He looks at me and smiles, blushing then grabs the side of my face an kisses me for the first time! Sparks fly as we continue to kiss! I can already tell that I am going to love this!
We watch a movie as he tickles me and wrestles with me letting me win, and a thumb war or two and an almost staring contest! All the while telling me I am an angel and the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on. As he wraps his arms around my waist I gently lay my head on his chest and sit there in the moment, unitl... he surprise attacks me with kisses. "Baby, I love you." he whispers in my ear!
As we walk down this road we kiss more! I wrap my arms around his neck and him around my waist and he kisses me softly and sweetly. We entwine our hands and swing them between us! I can see a future with this boy. I run away yelling, "Catch me if you can!" He says, "I bet I can!" When he finally catches me he kisses me again and he says, "You forgot I used to play football so I can catch you anytime." Then we play chicken and it ties to him being a little to strong and me giving in to a hug. We walk back hand in hand completely in love. I can't believe this actually happened to someone like me! I finally found a guy who treats me like a princess.
When he leaves I am sad , but when we decide on our date I offer to pay for something he grabs ahold of me and looks me deep into my eyes and says: "You will NEVER have to pay or worry about that, I will take care of everything." Then we walk farther and have to kiss goodbye, I will see him soon, but it feels like a lifetime from now.
He worries he is not good enough for me, and I worry I am not enough for him.
I love this guy! He makes me feel loved. For the first time in my life the walls I built up are tumbling down and I could not be happier!
Anyways that was a quick post to rehash my day. Hope you enjoy! Have a great day!
Ciao
I Do (Chreish You)
So yeah this is by Mark Wills and it is so FRIKIN sweet that it's like the tits man!!!
Sorry I recently watched Pitch Perfect again and it's in my head! Ok so this is another song my sweet boy sent me and I just love it!
I think my defenses and this ten foot cement wall I built around my heart is about to be down all the way down! It's bad but at the same time it feels so amazing!
I will post a following one about my day!!
Ciao
Sorry I recently watched Pitch Perfect again and it's in my head! Ok so this is another song my sweet boy sent me and I just love it!
I think my defenses and this ten foot cement wall I built around my heart is about to be down all the way down! It's bad but at the same time it feels so amazing!
I will post a following one about my day!!
Ciao
Monday, June 24, 2013
Never Been Hurt
okay guys this is buy Demi as you know!!!
Ok so I went for it and I couldn't be happier! That guy is so amazing and so sweet and so wonderful! I am falling for him so fast and I love it!!!! He makes me feel like I am a princess! I am trying not to go head first into this so quickly, but I can't help it he makes me so giddy with excitement!
So that dilemma is solved! I think I may love him! It's only been 2 days but it's puppy love! I am in what people call: The Cupcake Phase!
Anyways just wanted to quickly post and update you on the current situation!
Ciao
Ok so I went for it and I couldn't be happier! That guy is so amazing and so sweet and so wonderful! I am falling for him so fast and I love it!!!! He makes me feel like I am a princess! I am trying not to go head first into this so quickly, but I can't help it he makes me so giddy with excitement!
So that dilemma is solved! I think I may love him! It's only been 2 days but it's puppy love! I am in what people call: The Cupcake Phase!
Anyways just wanted to quickly post and update you on the current situation!
Ciao
Saturday, June 22, 2013
I'll Be
This song is by Edwin McCain! Ok I heard this song when I was little, but I forgot about it until this guy reminded me about it! It is so sweet! I love it!
Ok readers I have a dilema! I kinda like this guy, but he is younger and I just don't know what to do!
He makes me smile, but he kinda had a thing for my best friend! I am afraid if I go for it she will get mad and kick me out of her lovely house she and her family have so graciously let me abide in. So what do I do? I haven't felt like this about a guy in a loooooooooong time! The last guy certainly did not make me feel like this, this unexpicably happy. Just someone I feel like I can trust with anything, especially my heart. I don't want to screw up a good friendship though. UGH! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! I asked him what he thought if we kept it a secret. You know me I can't keep a secret to save my life! UGH!!!
Anyways what's up with you guys! I am havin a great summer so far! I don't have much else to say so that's a wrap!
#Confused/Happyasaclam!!
Ciao
Ok readers I have a dilema! I kinda like this guy, but he is younger and I just don't know what to do!
He makes me smile, but he kinda had a thing for my best friend! I am afraid if I go for it she will get mad and kick me out of her lovely house she and her family have so graciously let me abide in. So what do I do? I haven't felt like this about a guy in a loooooooooong time! The last guy certainly did not make me feel like this, this unexpicably happy. Just someone I feel like I can trust with anything, especially my heart. I don't want to screw up a good friendship though. UGH! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! I asked him what he thought if we kept it a secret. You know me I can't keep a secret to save my life! UGH!!!
Anyways what's up with you guys! I am havin a great summer so far! I don't have much else to say so that's a wrap!
#Confused/Happyasaclam!!
Ciao
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
It's been awhile!
Hey guys it has been long since I posted last! My apologies for the wait! Anyways let me update you on my life now! I now live with Warrior and no longer with my mom! Yes, yes I know Warrior and I had a fight but she is my best friend and it was either live with her or live in Dallas as a hobo! Plus, I LOOOOOOOOOVE living here! It's fun and I have more freedom and I am actually appreciated! I don't have to apologize so much, even though I haven't quite got the hang of it yet!
Anyways I have had a busy start to Summer! I have registered for college, applied for a few jobs, and will turn in more apps soon, I have gotten on track with my exercise and my eating habits! I even sleep better now! I guess it goes to show that my mom was holding me back on my life! I am excited for the future again! My 18th birthday is coming up and even though I won't be celebrating it much I am excited to be somewhat legal!
I am having a great summer and a great day as well! I can't wait to see what will happen next! So I will be tanning soon! No worries, not in a tanning bed! I will be using the good ol' sun the al'naturel way! =P
So that pretty much wraps up my life right now! As od this moment I think I am going to go exercise or something along those lines! Have a blessed day!
Ciao
P.S. I will start the whole song/pic/word/verse of the day back up soon just a little off kilter because my mother took my laptop away so I have to use a desktop or Warrior's computer and I don't want to hog it so... anyways Ciao again!
Anyways I have had a busy start to Summer! I have registered for college, applied for a few jobs, and will turn in more apps soon, I have gotten on track with my exercise and my eating habits! I even sleep better now! I guess it goes to show that my mom was holding me back on my life! I am excited for the future again! My 18th birthday is coming up and even though I won't be celebrating it much I am excited to be somewhat legal!
I am having a great summer and a great day as well! I can't wait to see what will happen next! So I will be tanning soon! No worries, not in a tanning bed! I will be using the good ol' sun the al'naturel way! =P
So that pretty much wraps up my life right now! As od this moment I think I am going to go exercise or something along those lines! Have a blessed day!
Ciao
P.S. I will start the whole song/pic/word/verse of the day back up soon just a little off kilter because my mother took my laptop away so I have to use a desktop or Warrior's computer and I don't want to hog it so... anyways Ciao again!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Anger!
Ok so last night was a fluke Warrior's internet went out and she had to shut down her computer! Everything is ok and my freaking has completely subsided! What has been lit under the butt is ANGER!! Sit back and relax this is going to be a long post!
You ask why would Stay Strong of all people be angry! Well, let me tell you it is my mother! She is so mean to me! She is just mean down to the core! I mean all she does is ridicule me for what I can't do! Criticize me for what I do do, and make me feel completely worthless! I don't understand what stick got lodged up her butt and has stuck up there for almost 18 years now! She has literally been like this my entire existence! Ever since I was born she has never been nice to me! She complains that she sacrificed so much for us, well you know what?!!! My sister, brother, and I have sacrificed a lot too! What being uprooted from your home every single year and a half and finding new friends and a new school and trying not to ask for anything extra b/c we had no money! Well, let's see now has money and she doesn't even spend it on things we need! She buys junk that we DO NOT NEED!!! And she gives it to people who gamble their lives away! What is the point of having money if you do not spend it wisely!?!!!!!!!!!
Ok earlier this afternoon like at about 2:00 p.m. she had us take some trash down to the dumpster; no big deal it wasn't even the slightest bit heavy. Then after about 5 minutes she asks us to take down the old t.v. cart to the trash and this thing is not completely heavy it is just that two people are required to carry it in my opinion! I could not carry this by myself and she was like oooooh weak! And I mocked her and said oooahahahahah sorry we are all not strong and butch like you! The truth is she is butch! She has well rounded shoulders that are a bit big and you know..... Well she was like call me butch one more time and you will be out of this f***ing house before graduation! After my sister and I returned we had to take another bag down to the dumpster and when we got back in she said that is the last straw when I take your brother back to Dallas you are leaving and going to live with your father! You are not going to talk to me like that ANYMORE!!! All I said was fine! Nice, calm, and cool! At first I was angry and what you read before this point was anger, but now all I can do is pray for her! I pray she gets everything she ever wanted, but only through Almighty God!
I pray for others too like my bff: Warrior! She and her family have been a blessing to me! I can't fathom how much she means to me! We may have our differences, but I know I have a true and very best friend in her! Thanks girl for everything and I am really going to miss you! You know once I am FORCED to go live in Dallas!
Anyways I send a prayer out there for the ones in Oklahoma going through this tragedy and to everyone all over this beautiful planet!
Thanks to everyone for reading this and I will post and update on the whole being kicked out fiasco sometime soon! God Bless!
Ciao!!!
You ask why would Stay Strong of all people be angry! Well, let me tell you it is my mother! She is so mean to me! She is just mean down to the core! I mean all she does is ridicule me for what I can't do! Criticize me for what I do do, and make me feel completely worthless! I don't understand what stick got lodged up her butt and has stuck up there for almost 18 years now! She has literally been like this my entire existence! Ever since I was born she has never been nice to me! She complains that she sacrificed so much for us, well you know what?!!! My sister, brother, and I have sacrificed a lot too! What being uprooted from your home every single year and a half and finding new friends and a new school and trying not to ask for anything extra b/c we had no money! Well, let's see now has money and she doesn't even spend it on things we need! She buys junk that we DO NOT NEED!!! And she gives it to people who gamble their lives away! What is the point of having money if you do not spend it wisely!?!!!!!!!!!
Ok earlier this afternoon like at about 2:00 p.m. she had us take some trash down to the dumpster; no big deal it wasn't even the slightest bit heavy. Then after about 5 minutes she asks us to take down the old t.v. cart to the trash and this thing is not completely heavy it is just that two people are required to carry it in my opinion! I could not carry this by myself and she was like oooooh weak! And I mocked her and said oooahahahahah sorry we are all not strong and butch like you! The truth is she is butch! She has well rounded shoulders that are a bit big and you know..... Well she was like call me butch one more time and you will be out of this f***ing house before graduation! After my sister and I returned we had to take another bag down to the dumpster and when we got back in she said that is the last straw when I take your brother back to Dallas you are leaving and going to live with your father! You are not going to talk to me like that ANYMORE!!! All I said was fine! Nice, calm, and cool! At first I was angry and what you read before this point was anger, but now all I can do is pray for her! I pray she gets everything she ever wanted, but only through Almighty God!
I pray for others too like my bff: Warrior! She and her family have been a blessing to me! I can't fathom how much she means to me! We may have our differences, but I know I have a true and very best friend in her! Thanks girl for everything and I am really going to miss you! You know once I am FORCED to go live in Dallas!
Anyways I send a prayer out there for the ones in Oklahoma going through this tragedy and to everyone all over this beautiful planet!
Thanks to everyone for reading this and I will post and update on the whole being kicked out fiasco sometime soon! God Bless!
Ciao!!!
Saturday, June 1, 2013
worry wurt
ok yes that is me right now!!! i was on Skype and facebook and warrior was saying something about cables and then all of a sudden her internet is just out! i can't get ahold of here on her cell either! so i am a little worried! i am assuming she has no power b/c of the storm but that shouldn't mean her cell phone is out! just saying! ok yeah i am very protective of my family so yes i am freaking the freak out! anyways because of the wonderful Warrior I am cheered up! I feel better! well better than before! I am going to keep trying with the contacts! So cross your fingers!
Just a quick hey! how you doin?! well i will post tomarrow i will be freaking until i hear from my bestie but until that happens have a great night and:
Ciao!
Just a quick hey! how you doin?! well i will post tomarrow i will be freaking until i hear from my bestie but until that happens have a great night and:
Ciao!
i am done
ok yesterday I went to the office and got a trial pair of contacts, yeah they SUCK!!!! I can't for the life of me get them in my frikin eyes! I am frustrated and sad b/c no one will help me!
on the plus side the sun is shining and I woke up this morning! I had a rough night! I saw myself on that bridge again and in my dreams I actually jumped! I was so scared I just trusted in Jesus to get me thru the night! HE did b/c I have not lived up to my potential!
Anyways so what do ya'll think? Should I keep trying or give up?
Oh I almost forgot! Guess what everyone?!!! Drumroll please! bdddddddddddddd.............
WARRIOR passed her driving test!!!! I am so proud of her! She is so awesome! Congrats girl! If you want to read so awesomeness go to: www.Sorry4PartyRocking2012.blogspot.com !!!!
Well I am off to do nothing I guess! Whatever! If you want to leave your comments in the section below!
Ciao!!!
on the plus side the sun is shining and I woke up this morning! I had a rough night! I saw myself on that bridge again and in my dreams I actually jumped! I was so scared I just trusted in Jesus to get me thru the night! HE did b/c I have not lived up to my potential!
Anyways so what do ya'll think? Should I keep trying or give up?
Oh I almost forgot! Guess what everyone?!!! Drumroll please! bdddddddddddddd.............
WARRIOR passed her driving test!!!! I am so proud of her! She is so awesome! Congrats girl! If you want to read so awesomeness go to: www.Sorry4PartyRocking2012.blogspot.com !!!!
Well I am off to do nothing I guess! Whatever! If you want to leave your comments in the section below!
Ciao!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)