Hi-Five

That is an original song by Youtuber Chris Collins and his sister whose name I am blanking on at the moment. 

Hey guys happy Wednesday! So for the post today I am going to list some things I am grateful/thankful for. Yes those are pretty much the same thing I know. but I thought it would be a nice change of pace form my usual rants about my life and my mother. I am also gonna list some things that make me happy. 

I am grateful/thankful for:

God 

My relationship with Him 

Getting to wake up every day that I have

My wonderful life

Love

Happiness

Fruit

Vegetables

Whomever invented pizza (i make RawTill4 pizza)

My family

My friends (only have a few, but nonetheless) 

Earth 

the sky 

the plants

the animals

random strangers who pay for you 

homeless people (talk to one for at least an hour and they will give you so much life)

all the struggles i have been through

all the success on my life i have experienced 

my past teachers

my college experience ( had to go through to get to the place i am at today) 

PETA 

oxygen 

my heart

my body (internal organs wise) 

Things that make me happy:

dogs (especially when i get to pet them and help them) 

helping people 

watching baby cows run around and play 

babies (human and animal alike)

music

funny jokes 

people being nice

people in general 

when i accomplish something the right way

Now a LOT more makes me happy and I am grateful/thankful for SOOOOOO much more, but that is just a short list of each. Now omg guys I had to weigh myself last Thursday for the blood drive and omg guys I have lost 20 pounds in less than 2 months! I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore! I feel amazing! My clothes are starting to bunch up everywhere and I don't even have to unzip or unbutton my pants when I put them on and take them off! Isn't that just awesome!?! My day has been great; I was trying to pay for my drink and I didn't have enough so I was going to go get my mom for more change, and the young woman behind me paid for it! I was like what seriously? I even tried to give her the change I had, but she wouldn't take it! See there are good people left in this world, and I also talked to Warrior today. It was nice. Listen to that song and watch the video it's amazing, it popped into my head after she paid for me. 

Well that is it for now loyals! I will talk see you awesome people next blog! BYEEEEEE

P.S. Try doing something nice for someone today. I coaxed two dogs out of the middle of the road, what have you done? 

~Ciao~

Heeeeey

So I can't think of a song to title this blog so you're getting heeeey!

Hey guys happy Thursday!!!! Oh my goodness gracious so much has happened in the last 20-30 something hours and yeah it may be long! So on the first item on the list is my dad. He had a hernia recently and had to undergo surgery and he's ok, but I am worried about him. Not as much as the next item on the list: my mother. She received news from her lab results that she had a critical hemoglobin and needed to get to the hospital for a blood transfusion asap. So we all get packed to spend the night at my grandmothers and I am freaking out, I know ti's nothing too serious but I am a drama queen so I always freak out when it comes to things like this. She had to have four bags dripped into her and each bag takes four hours, she should be done by the time you read this blog, but I am just really worried about her. Ok so the next item is me, yes I know conceited right? Whatever. Ok so I gave blood 2 hours ago and I am actually starting to worry this time. I have done 6 times before and never bruised and I my arm has never hurt, so I am slightly worried about that. I'm also having weird heart problems going on so we'll wait and see. Oh I almost forgot my mom also has a heart murmur. I am casting all my worries on God and just letting it see its way through. I had the most amazing talk with God this morning, my grandma was driving to TC College and I look at the sky and she the sun poking out casting these beautiful rays on the ground below and it took my breath away. I was awestruck at this magnificent creation of God and I praised Him right then and there. I talked to Him and thanked Him for this wonderful day and my amazing life. You know a wise person, ( I'm not sure who), once said, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away." I love that quote, it's awesome. So the item on the list is Warrior. You know her? If not then go check out her blog: www.Sorry4PartyRocking2012.blogspot.com !!! Ok well yesterday I was just angry for no reason really, I don't even remember and I was asking God for peace and He gave it to me. I went on Facebook and found Warrior's page and I saw that she had gone back to blonde and I was like woah awesome I gotta tell her that I think it look awesome! So I did and I apologized again for my rude behavior in the past, you all know about it. She said it was water under the bridge and we actually talked! We did today too! I am a little reluctant to talk about this because I'm afraid that it will stop. I was happy to say the least and I felt calmer. So Warrior thanks again for talking to me again, it means a lot.
Ok so the last item on the list is that little piece of me trip down memory lane project I was gonna post, well I have decided to not post it for now, I may in the unforeseen future though, so keep an eye out.

Well that is it for now lovelies, I mean loyals! I will see you awesome people next blog! K BYEEEE




P.S. Eat at least one piece of fruit today!



~Ciao~

Loves Me Like Jesus Does

ok that song is like stuck in my head along with Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

Hey guys happy Wednesday!!! It's HUMP daaaaaaaaay!!!! Anyways how are you guys!?! I am having a pretty good day so far, i mean it was better than yesterday. Shit went down yesterday. My computer broke down, but my awesome and talented brother fixed it for me. It was so nasty, he took the whole thing apart and dusted it and found out what was clanking around in there. So shout to my older bro, THANKS!!! I know he doesn't read this, but nonetheless. Also this guy up at TK College flirted with me a little yesterday...
I was like well then you know? I mean he was attractive and all, but I kinda have my eye on this other guy here who, in my opinion is really attractive. They are both in the video game playing/geek clique so I mean I would have a little challenge, since I am not a gamer and I am by no means on the same intellectual level as them, but I would give it a try. Lately I have just been wanting someone on in my life. Someone I can count on and love you know? Don't get me wrong I love being single, it's fun; most of the time. Other times I just want someone to talk to and get to know and just be with him. I know and trust that God has the perfect person for me so I will be patient. So tomorrow I am giving blood you guys, I'm excited! The shirt is yellow this time, so that's a change. There is no luck in the employment department and I am still broke. I am losing hope and I know I shouldn't give up, but my mom basically told me not to get a job because she has to get one. Every time she says that all I think is: "You are never going to get a job that doesn't require a degree, you have to start at the bottom and the only way is if you put school on hold for a bit. I mean I put school on hold for me, not just for a job, but for my sanity as well. I tried, I went out there and got a job, but you took it away from me. I had to quit for you."
Sorry guys that was a little rant there.
Anyways that is it for now I wish you all the best and I will see you awesome people next blog! K BYEEEE

Oh and don't forget that you choose to be happy so let's all stay positive. I know that is contradictive to what I just talked about, but just stay afloat peeps!


~Ciao~

Inspiration

Hey guys happy Tuesday! so today's post is not going to be all that jazzy or anything seeing as I don't have much to talk about! I'm just living my life, staying positive, choosing to be happy, and having fun! So pretty much the usual! I literally can't think of anything to talk about. Oh wait! Tomorrow I am donating blood for the 7th time in my life! Lifeshare Blood Centers is coming to Texarkana College tomorrow and I will be here to give up some of my blood once again! It's for a good cause and it could save a life so why not? I may be just a little blip on this planet compared to most people, but if my small donation can help then I'm willing to give it. I have been drinking so much water lately and I just love how hydrated I feel, it's amazing!
So this is a video I made; I was feeling inspiration while listening to K-LOVE so I hope you like it!

I mean I guess that is it for now other than my mom is still bashing this diet, but besides that I am just doing the same as yesterday!
Hey if the vid doesn't play sorry!
Well that's all folks! I will see you awesome loyals next blog! K BYEEE








~Ciao~

Lowlife

That song is by the one and only Theory Of A Deadman!

Hey loyals happy Monday! So today is going to be shortish because I have a project in the making. I am going to give you a little inside look into my past. I was going through old stuff and I found some things that brought back memories so I am gonna share them with ya'll. So look out for that it's coming soon.
Ok so lately I have been getting back to my roots music wise. I grew up listening to a variety of music, but it was mainly rock and metal and lately I have been re-obsessed with it! I have also been obsessed with Christian music too, like K-LOVE music I can't get enough of either! I love it!

So my mom will not buy me any fruit whatsoever and I can't have meat in my mouth so basically I don't eat much anymore. I hate this! I mean when I was growing up I always ate fruits and veggies, granted now I have taken all the other crap out of my diet so there isn't much difference. My parents always taught me to eat plenty of fruits and veggies so I don't know what the problem is. I swear if I can't get another job I am going to develop an eating disorder all because she doesn't want me to be healthy. I want to scream at her, but I know that won't solve a single thing so I keep a lot to myself. She also has a new problem with me every day, I don't get it. I mean I have never really cussed as much I do nowadays, but it's not like I am a different person. I have always been a loud and quite frankly obnoxious person and I guess she is just now noticing it. I can't do anything right ever! I am not good enough for her I guess! Sorry guys about this rant I needed to get it off my chest! So what do you guys think? I just wish I could move far away and never come back. That ultimately is the plan, I know how a lot of people think California is full of a lot of weirdos, but honestly I don't care. I'd rather be there than here. Growing up I always wanted to move there and one day I will be. Hopefully sooner than later!

Anyways that is it for now, I will see you awesome people next blog! K BYEEEEEEEEE

~Ciao~

P.S. I watched the new One Direction music video for You & I and I LOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!! BEST VIDEO YET!!!!!!!! It's really cool how they did what they did in the vid so go watch it!

Only Human

So this song, by Christina Perri, resonated in me last night when I had a little breakdown...

Hey guys happy Thursday! So today is going to be a quick since I don't have much to talk about.
So my little breakdown was just me fed up with life for a moment. Like crying and cussing everyone out and it was just a mess. I have been feeling stuck a lot lately, like I am never going anywhere and I'll never amount to anything kind of stuck. You know that feeling? Well yeah that's how I felt and it's still lingering, but I am getting past it. God is bringing me through it. As I was crying and just feeling really down that song came into my mind and I felt somewhat better. I mean we are all human, we feel this feeling of being fed up with everybody and everything sometimes. Then another song comes to mind... Beautiful by MercyMe and that made me sob and appreciate life so much more. I was humbled in that moment and I talked to God and apologized for taking my life for granted. I just hate these feelings, but I have come to learn that everyone needs to have a little physcotic meltdown every once in a while; or otherwise we will explode. I woke up today feeling better so we will see how the rest of the day goes.

Well that is pretty much it for now, like I said I don't have much to talk about today. #SorryNotSorry

Anyways I will see you awesome people next blog! Until next time, BYEEEEE!!





~Ciao~

Shut Up and Love Me

Hey guys happy Tuesday! Welcome to Tasty Tuesday! So that song is by the lovely Demi Lovato. Who has changed her yet again, she is back to brown!  So today is all about tasting new raw foods!
I recently tried dates and I gotta say I like them, but I am not the biggest fan. Now mixed with water and some coconut sugar and it tastes just like coffee! It's super yummy and super healthy! So give it a try!

Ok yesterday I watched a new Freelee the Banana Girl Video and she pointed out something I wish my mom would understand. She was commenting on how everyone calls her raw vegan lifestyle to be extreme and she agrees; it is a good extreme. She said people shouldn't knock it till they try it. I 100% support this, because you will never know how awesome it is until you try it for yourself.

So I have found that I have all this energy. I want to run so bad! I just want to take off and run till my legs give out and I have to be carried back home. I want to jump around and dance until I can't move anymore! I love all this extra energy and I think I am going to finally put it to use today. See before I couldn't just go for a run, but it is starting to warm up slightly and I need to get outside. One thing you should know about me is that I am a home-body, I will stay in the house all day and be as happy as a clam, but I can't do that anymore. I am going stir-crazy staying inside all day every day! I know that when I get a job, if I get one, that I will be inside for multiple hours a day, but that is why I need to get out now! Ugh I just ahsdkhdlkhfksdlfhshd!! 32u4092305uref    
sorry guys like i said i have been cooped a lot recently and it's getting to me!

Anyways that's all folks! I hope you have a FRUITASTIC day and I will see you awesome people next blog!

~Ciao~

Munchin Monday

hey guys! happy Monday! I am sitting here at the TA Center at TK College just munchin on this huge bowl of watermelon! I know it's not exactly the right season for watermelon, but I just LOOOOVE it! I think I am going to a theme for every day that I post, Mondays are going to be Munchin Mondays! I haven't got it all figured out yet, but I have a few ideas so we'll see!
So how are all ya! I am gonna try to make this post quick, but you all know me, that word is not in my vocabulary when it comes to blogging! Ha ha! Anyways so an update on how I am doing; not much to tell. I am doing great, staying strong on this lifestyle and in all other aspects, I am actually starting to see a difference in my appearance and other aspects of my life. Things are looking up! I keep telling myself that every minute I spend upset about something is another 60 seconds I could have spent happy. I choose to be happy now and I don't let anyone take that away from me anymore! Although yesterday I was feeling down and I know I will always have bad days, but I realized it was from not going to church. I haven't been to church in a while and I honestly don't know why. I mean my relationship with God is great, but I have been losing faith a lot lately. I hate that and I am trying to restore it, but I just can't bring myself to go to church on Sunday. I honestly cannot fathom why I don't want to go to church. Maybe I just need to go to a very quiet place and talk to God, pray, and read His word! This has happened quite often with my faith. I'll have such great and strong faith for a while and then something happens and I get off track so to speak, then I will come back strong and renewed. It's weird, and I don't like it. I want a constantly strong relationship with Him. I know I just gotta keep living the good life!
So anyways this is dragging on so I am gonna go, I have to finish this watermelon. I will see you awesome people next blog! (Which may be either later today or tomorrow!) K, BYEEEEEEEE!


~Ciao~

I'M LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY!!!!

hey guys happy Thursday! so i hope you are having a great day and omg i am about to cry and my heart is pounding in my chest! my hands are shaking too! ok so Warrior posted a new post just recently for the first time in like EVER but it has all this news in there and omg the biggest news of all and omg i can't believe it! i am so freaking unbelievably happy for Warrior right now!  You go girl! I know we are no where near to ever being good again, but omg girl like omg i don't even know what to say! of course i'll be there whether anyone wants me to be or not! omg omg omg! like omg! sorry i mean i know you have been proposed to before, but just from that post i can tell it's different this time!

ok so now that i had a full on freak out in the Texarkana College library let me update you on my life. (my hands are still shaking) anyways not much has changed in two days, the usual has been going on, still looking for that damn job. i am going to try again at this farmers market we are going to in a few minutes. i need some fruit this girl is hungry! life is going steady for me right now, i am doing fine mentally/emotionally, like no breakdowns or depression recently and yes i get angry, but i move on quickly. I don't dwell on things anymore and I feel amazing about that! My mom is going through menopause I am convinced and she is a little more cranky, but I am dealing with it exceptionally better than I ever have. I don't take her crap and she doesn't take mine, so we are on the same page most of the time.

That is pretty much it for this post, I don't have much else to say other than I will see you awesome people next blog!


~Ciao~

Long time no blog

Hey guys happy Tuesday!!! Hope all you are having an awesome day! It's been quite awhile since I have been on here and I gotta say I have missed ya! How are you loyals out there? Good? GREAT!! Well so am I! I did not win the giveaway and I'm okay with that, but I have other news. So I got a job and I worked there for a week. Yes I know that is bad, but my mom could not manage the gas and they weren't even paying me minimum wage. It was at Dairy Queen. Yes I know the worst job to have, but there are even worse jobs out there. I could have been working at McDonalds! I got my check yesterday and it turned out to be a lot more than I expected! So I went to Walmart and loaded up with fruits and veggies and some other items. I even managed to spend less than half of my check! So score 1 for me right? I just have to find a new job now so I can get that steady flow of money in so I can help my mom out and help out my family in general. I feel great and I am even looking a little better as well. I don't know how much weight I have lost and I honestly don't care, but when I was looking in the mirror I was like woah wait a second I look a little thinner. My clothes are baggier and I just look better all over. I am breaking out though and that is just due to my body adjusting to this new lifestyle. I love it all though, it's been a bumpy road, but it's evening out now and soon it will be a smooth ride.
So time for other news. I called my dad up and asked him if he would help me move up there or at least help me persuade my grandma, his mother, to let me stay with her. I fully expected a no right out, but he said he would. Well, I call up my grandmother and she says no, so I'm stuck here. I don't mind living here in East Texas, but there isn't much opportunity out here for me and I am not getting much luck with anything. I know I am burdening my mother by staying there on the couch, but she won't throw me out or even tell me to get out, so I am stuck. I need to find another job quickly so I can try to move out on my own again. I need to start living in the real world again. I was on my own once and I crashed and burned, but I know better this time and I want to give it another try. I am not going back to college though, that I cannot handle at the moment. I want to work, I like having something set out for me to do every day. I applied to Jewelry Galore here in TK and I haven't heard anything back form them, but a little optimism never hurt anyone, right? I finally have seen what Warrior meant when she said there is always room for improvement. I am on this world to improve not only myself each and every day, but others too. I want to help other achieve their dreams and the only way is to start with myself.
Now for something a little more serious. You will never guess who contacted my sister just to talk to me. Drum roll please! My ex-roommate. Cue the flash of lightning and the thunder! At first she wanted to know how I was doing so I told my sister to not even answer her, but she persisted so I said tell her I don't want anything to do with her ever again. She then continued to insult me and my family, so I grabbed the phone and told her "Listen little bitch leave me and my family alone!" She then said a few other choice words and then stopped texting my sister. So semi-crisis adverted right? I guess, maybe she will finally get the message.


That that that ttthhhat's all folks! So I hope you found this entertaining and I will see you awesome people next blog!

~Ciao~