pissed

okay quick update i made this awesome vlog about my new puppy Daisy May and now stupid youtube won't let me upload it because of the file type and my converter won't let me convert it to any other format ugh.  it wont even let me put it here. this sucks, i really want to be a vlogger. guess i will have to wait until i can get a better camera. UGH i feel like screaming. djfhsakdhglisdhgkdfnglkjhfg sorry guys i worked hard on this video. rant over. good night.

All the love- M

Making a change/Do I look pregnant?

Good evening everyone! I hope life is treating you well. My life is good, it will be better once I fully commit to doing what I want to do.  Before I get started let me ask if I look pregnant, I know you can't see a picture, but I am going to post it in the comments or the end of this blog. Be honest please. I was giving a couple their chips and salsa the other day and she asked me when I was due. At first i was confused and she said, "you're not pregnant?" I said no and walked away. Now most people would get angry or sad and upset over a comment like that, but not me. I laughed it straight off. It didn't really bother me. It's because I am so carbed up that stuff like that don't really phase me. Also I know that I am still overweight, but I am working on it. It is motivating me to go the distance to finally shed this extra weight once and for all. Which brings us to our next topic: making a change. I want to give you loyals an in depth perspective on my decision to go vegan and veganism in general. Now obviously the main reason I went vegan was the cruelty factor, I did not realize how much torture and pain we put animals through. We enslave them, torture, starve, and kill without a blink of an eye. With every bit of research I did and all of the video material I have watched on this subject it made me cry to see it and made it even easier to choose veganism. The only thing I wish for is that I went vegan years ago. Though I did recently hit my one year mark, I am very proud of myself. It's been my best year yet. I have  experienced something that is hard to explain, but I will try. The first week I was vegan was the hardest week ever. I was very moody, cranky, iritable, craved everything, and was a an emotional wreck. However at the end of that week something amazing happened: my body balanced out and adjusted to my new lifestyle. It was amazing, instead of craving all that crap I wanted nothing but fruit. I could just picture a juicy green apple and suddenly taste it. It was a cool feeling. In a week I saw results in my face, my acne was nearly gone, my skin was glowing nearly. My nails got thicker and harder and so did my teeth. The whites in my eyes were more white than yellowish grayish. My mental clarity was off the charts, my depression was a thing of the past. I hardly felt sad at all. Now see I am bipolar, but I no longer felt crazy, like I was losing my sanity. Over the next 3 months my life. Hanged completely. I learned more and more about living a compassionate life with a conscious diet. I adopted a exercise regimen that was a lot easier to keep up with my new eating habits and I lost 30 pounds within those months. As time passed I got too comfortable eating the vegan junk food that I thought were okay for me. Yes they were all vegan, but very unhealthy. As a result of this I stopped losing g weight and stopped exercising so much and stopped burning fat like I was with all the raw food. And here we are today. Yes I admit that I have hit a roadblock in this lifestyle. I have not really exercised in weeks and I eat a bunch of vegan crap food. I hate it, but that's all I could afford.
Well atleast that was what I would say before I had a job, now that I have one I am not gonna let that be my crutch or excuse anymore. Starting right now I am not going to fall into these habits I have developed of eating junk, I am going straight to raw food now. I will cook, but only for dinner, like I am supposed to. I am going full fledge and just go RT4 and not back down because it's easier to eat vegan processed foods.
The other reasons I went vegan are my personal looks. Everyone cares about the way they look, no one can deny it. I want to look good, better than I do now. I am not being hard on myself, it is the truth. I also don't want to eat animals anymore because I don't like the taste anymore. Or the smell for that matter. So there you have it. I love the way being vegan makes me feel, I also don't want to end up with a host of health problems when I get older.  I want to be able to run a marathon when I am in my 60s or 70s, and trust me it is possible, I know two women who do; one is 73 and one is 64. So I a going to commit and see where I hope next. I have been feeling crappy lately and I want to be a healthy vegan, not an unhealthy one. That is also possible, us vegans aren't just stick figure hippies, we can be unhealthy and still not eat animals. Another thin if you ever meet someone who is a certain size don't judge. They may not be able to gain weight if they are super skinny, or they may be struggling to lose weight if they aren't the smallest. Also being skinny is not a bad thing, what's crazy is carrying around 50-100 pounds of extra weight you don't need too. I watched Forks over Knoves today and it was a good movie. If you want to go vegan and need to make that connection that veganism is the right direction then watch this movie. The song Man in the Mirror has been going through my head for days and I think it is appropriate for this post. So has the song Till' I Collapse by Eminem. That is a good motivation song to exercise to. I think that is is. Eying, all for tonight. I will post again soon. I will post the pic utters in the comments. Keep in mind this is after I have eaten ldinner. Good night. Peace, Love, Vegan.

All the love

Accomplishing nothing today.

Hey guys I'm back, I know it's been far too long. We've had Internet out here for 6 days and Im just now writing this blog. So let me update you on my life before I get down to today's topic. I have a job! Yes I am officially employed and it is awesome, most of the time. I work at a tex mex restaurant. I know that it's not typically where vegans want or dream of working, but it is justa start. I start d working a little over a month ago, not gonna lie, the money is great, but I don't love it and I'm not just there for a paycheck, I'm there to learn. I already have learned so much, not just how a restaurant runs, but how much irk goes into it, and I have learned about people too. I have made so many mistakes, I spill salsa everyday, multiple times a day, and I am okay with it. It's fun just being a bus person, and a chips/salsa person. I am one step closer to getting my dream every two weeks.
So I am saving up for a camera, a high quality camera to start vlogging with. Yes it is finally happening! I am creating my channel and going to put my life and my message out there on YouTube. I'm excited, it will take atleast another month or two to get everything going, but at least I have a goal. I realized that I don't want to be a teacher, I want to work in film and photography. I take beautiful pictures and everyone tells me that so I am going to pursue this dream and see where it takes me. It's a whole new chapter.
So let's see what else..... OH! I am FINALLY getting all of my wisdom teeth out! March 30 is the date and I am just relieved I won't be in so much pain anymore, well granted I will be in pain after the procedure, but I will be okay. I won't be able to work for atleast 5 days toa week, but I think I will be okay. I know this a long blog, but bear with me here. My life is turning around, changing and I am so excited to see what happens. I have a little over a year to save up for me and Laura,(my sister) to get to sunny Southeren California. Can't wait. This is also very exciting I hit my one year mark guys! I have been vegan for 1 year and 4 days! Is that not just awesome? Many more years to come. Ok now onto today's topic.
So I have accomplished little to nothing today. I got up fairly early and had bfast and I did exercise so there is one thing I have done today. However, I am very tired from work so I just chilled on YouTube most of the day and I just woke up from a four hour nap. Longest nap I have ever taken, I feel very refreshed. I needed sleep, my apnea is acting up more than usual lately and now insomnia is back. I won't let that get me down, I am just trucking right along.
Oh you will not believe this, with my second check I bought a 40 lb. box of bananas and they were all delicious! It was fun having a banana smoothie every morning! I am just another step closer everyday to being RT4 for good! Today it felt good not to accomplish much, to just lay around. It was my day off and I spent it well. So thanks for reading and soon I will say thanks for watching, but thank you. Hey every one of you who reads this better subscribe to me when I finally have content out there on YouTube! Ok? Anyways thanks again have a wonderful evening or morning or whatever time of the day you read this and I am gonna go eat some pasta for dinner!
 All the love- M